They're Listening
by TheSicklyRoseVamp1229
Summary: When reading Vampire Knight most fans have certant things they want to tell a certain character. This is just a short, sweet ? , and funny story ? . Please add what you would say in a review. thanks! chap 2 is a funny rant of mine! chap 3 continues it!
1. What would you say?

If you could say one thing to each of the Vampire Knight characters, what would you say? Here are my responses.

Kaname- You and Zero are such a hot couple! He's a little shy, so you should make the first move.

Ichijo- When are you and Shiki getting married? I want an invite!

Shiki- What does Ichijo's blood taste like? Better yet, what does he taste like?

Ruka- Get over Kaname! He is obviously taken, and poor Kain has to watch you drool over him!

Kain- How do you deal with Aido and Ruka every day? You must have the patience of a saint.

Headmaster Cross- What is the deal with all of your fruity nightwear? You're a grown man for god's sake!

Yuki- How did you get two hot vampires to fight over you? We all want to know your secret!

Zero- Yuki is not worth all of this! Don't worry I'll help you find someone special (Kaname).

Aido- What is wrong with you?!

Rima- You are the luckiest girl ever! I would love to be in the middle of a Shiki/Ichijo sandwich!

Ichiru- I'm glad you came back, but I have to say that you have worse taste in women than Zero does.

Sara – Stay away from Ichijo! He belongs to me and Shiki!

Shizuka Hio- You're a bitch!

Ichijou- You're an even bigger bitch, because you hurt Kaname.

Rido- You're the biggest bitch of them all because you hurt Ichijo and Rima, and you almost got Shiki killed!


	2. Twilight vs VampKnight rant

_Well, today's rant is brought to you by the idiots I have to go to school with. One day I wore an "I Heart VK" top and someone asked if it had to do with Twilight!!! How does Vampire Knight have anything to do with that crappy movie?! Don't get me wrong; the books were good but the movie sucked!_

_Anyway that got me thinking: Are there some similarities between the two?_

Not many girls like the main character as much as they like the main guys: VK-Yuki, T- Bella

There is a "witchy" blonde: VK-Ruka, T-Rosaline

A nice, strong guy loves the "witch": VK-Kain, T- Emmet

In both series the heroines are both humans (for the most part) and are turned into vampires.

The heroin has a best guy friend who ends up falling in love with her: VK- Zero, T- Jake

The main love triangle: I don't think I need to explain

_And I could go on forever (not really) but there is one last big thing they have in common!_

_**Both movies (if they made a VK movie) would suck if Rob Patterson was in it!!!**_

_**Ha, Ha: to people who think that he makes a hot vampire!!**_


	3. Cast's responses to Rant!

_**Sorry I didn't put this in the last "chapter" but here are the (main) Vampire Knight cast members responses to this Twilight confusion! Enjoy!**_

Ruka – Did you just call me a witch?!

Kain – How did you know I like Ruka? Is it that obvious?

Kaname – How are vampires supposed to be respected when we are portrayed as this?

Zero – Thank God, I don't have the "disco ball vampire" disease!

Ichiru – If I found out that Zero glittered in the sun, he would never hear the end of it!

Yuki - ….but I like sparkly vampires!

Aido – I think I should have played Edward!

Ichijo – Hey Shiki, would you have played Edward?

Shiki – Only if you played Bella!

Rima – I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of this.


	4. Song Time?

_**Hey I have had this done for weeks but I never got to publish it, so this is today's post.**_

_**This is my version of the "Gay Barbie" song. The bold type is Zero, the normal type is Aido. Enjoy.**_

**Hi Aido!**

Hi Zero!

**Wanna go for a ride?**

On what?

**On Kaname!**

Yuki's such a bitch, she is just a witch!

**I really hate her, why does Kaname date her?**

Kaname's such a man, I do all I can.

**Just to do him, we just want to screw him!**

**(She's such a bitch I'm gonna rip her throat out)**

I have dreamed about Kaname, being between my knees.

And we hold, and we'll do it like we're bunnies.

**But that Yuki's a slut, with her short little skirt,**

**And I guess Kaname likes boobs made of fake parts.**

And I cry, every day,

Cause' strait up the bitch is in my way,

Oooh Oooh Oooh

Yuki is a bitch, she is just a witch!

**I really hate her, why does Kaname date her?**

Kaname's such a man, I do all I can.

**Just to do him, we want to screw him.**

**When I fight her, I will bite her**

(ooh oooh oooh)

**I will choke her, now I've broke her **

(Oooh! Oh yes!)

**Hey Aido!**

What Zero?

**Look who's over there!**

Well if it isn't Yuki WITHOUT Kaname with that stupid bitch Ruka!

HEY YUKI, IT'S US! COME OVER! LOOK! RIGHT HERE MISSY!

Ahh!! Take that!

You hooker,

You bitch,

Rip your throat out,

Ok let's get the hell outta here.


	5. What If?

_**Hey this is just what the title suggests, what would happen if certain things happened. Mainly Kaname/Zero focused this time. **_

What If…. both of the Kiryu twins went with Shizuka Hio?

_Me_: Twincest all the way; I bet that Shizuka should make them star in pornos

_Shizuka_: How dare you! *whispers* How did you know?

_Zero_: Where the hell did that idea come from? Why would I go with the woman who murdered my parents?

_Ichiru_: Yummmm, I wouldn't mind that three-some!

What If…Head Master Cross walked in on Kaname and Zero having sex?

_Me_: Maybe if it was someone else I would have them jump in the bed with them, but not the Head Master….. I'm probably going to get jumped for even suggesting this three-some.

_Zero_: Good guess. Start running! *I run away while Zero chases me*

_Kaname_: *so creeped out that he is in the fetal position, trying to erase the mental pictures*

_Me_: *laughing like an idot as I run for my life*

What If…..Kaname's arousal got stuck INSIDE of Zero?

_Me_: I think this is the sick humor all fangirls (I admit I am one too) love! Anyway I think that it would be hot if they had to go through a regular day like this, attending classes, without being separated.

_Kaname_: Don't tell Zero, but I like the sound of that!

_Zero_: Kaname! Don't even think of trying that!

_Kaname and I_: *pouting*Why not?!

What If…… Kaname began to sing RESPECT to Zero?

_Me_: Couldn't you just see him singing "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, tell me what it means to me…"

_Zero_: Not that Kaname doesn't have a nice voice, but does it have to be that song?

_Me_: How about "The Bad Touch" (by bloodhound gang)?

_Zero_: *death glare*


End file.
